Autumn, birthdays, Weymouth, and William

William recently turned six months old, and although in some ways it doesn't seem like he's been here for five minutes, in another way it feels as though he's been knocking around our lives forever.  Everybody says that having a baby changes your life, and they're right - everything is somehow different now.  Yes there's the ongoing tiredness and endless early mornings, nappy changes are becoming more-and-more frequent, and quiet moments are snatched at, at the tail-end of days.  But the house is more homey since William came along, blankets feel softer, cooking smells richer, and cuddles are warmer.  I've undergone subtle changes too; if William has had an impact on my personality so far, it's that I am a little more emotional, a lot more patient, and have a heightened enjoyment of the little things.

Talking of enjoying the little things, we took a lovely trip up the coast to Weymouth this week.  There's nothing quite like an out-of-season seaside town to put you in touch with the autumn - the Esplanade was peaceful, the cafes and restaurants quiet, the beach reserved for local dog walkers, and the pavilion (where we stopped for a good hot chocolate, and where the man behind the counter gave Schnitzel a biscuit) warm and welcoming.  It has been years - three decades actually - since I last set foot in Weymouth, but the childhood memories came flooding back as we looked across the sandy beach and enjoyed a promenade along the bright-but-breezy seafront.  I love Dorset in general, and it's a county we've found ourselves visiting with increased frequency over these last couple of years, so I'm hopeful that at some point, Weymouth may provide lifelong memories for William, as it has for me.

Moving through autumn always brings with it the seasonal reflections, but this year I feel more settled within myself, and as I prepare to climb another step on the birthday ladder, I'm feeling more together and in control than I have felt for many years.  Our home is full of love, we are financially secure, everything is relatively peaceful in my relationships, and I feel lucky and grateful.  I know my direction now, I've embraced the maturity that comes with no longer being "young", and I feel that - finally - I've found a way onto the first page of a new chapter, after a long period of rocky soul searching.  And it's this inner peace that will pave the way to a wonderful festive season - William's first Christmas - which I hope will be a joyous and memorable one.